


words we don't say

by leonorawrites



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 15:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9498767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leonorawrites/pseuds/leonorawrites
Summary: Neither of them were good with words, Philip knew that much.





	

Neither of them were good with words, Philip knew that much.

They never really talked. Not then and not now after everything that happened. They would spend all their time together; ride around on Lukas’ bike, listen to music in the hayloft, sit on the roof of the school avoiding the world for a little while before having to go back to class, but they still never really talked. Philip didn’t mind though. Feeling their fingers intertwined, arms holding each other close and lips meeting were the best way they could remind each other that they were and alive and safe, that was all they needed to say, they didn’t need words for that.

Lukas had said, that he never really had anything to say but Philip was sure that couldn’t be true.

It’s not like Philip was good with words either. Had he been he would have told Lukas every single day instead of holding it in. He would say it every time he saw his smile spread across his face, every time he went out of his way to make Philip smile, every time he kissed him, every time he saw him felt his stomach hurt. It had become a habit, really; he would wait until Lukas was asleep before kissing his shoulder or his forehead and whisper, “I love you,” into the night.

He must have gotten good at it, Lukas thought, pretending to be a sleep that was. It would happen more and more often; he would nuzzle in to Philip’s shoulder, put an arm around him a pull him close before closing his eyes and as his breathing got heavier Philip would kiss his hair and tell him that he loved and every time Lukas wanted to open his eyes and say it back. He felt it too, he did, but he couldn’t find the words yet even though he felt like he at times were screaming them. He just hoped that Philip knew, hoped that his actions showed what he didn’t say.

Neither of them were good with words, Philip _thought_ he knew that much.

They had been out most of the day shooting footage for Lukas’ channel and they were heading home when Lukas suddenly stopped the bike next to a field. Philip’s arms were still tight around his waist as he pulled his helmet off, “Come on," he turned his head to look at Philip, tugging at his arm. He climbed off the bike and took of his helmet as well, “What are we doing here?” he asked. Lukas only answer was a mischievous grin and a hand in his dragging him into the field, the wheat around them reaching above their knees. Lukas sat down pulling Philip with him, clearly still a bit confused as to what he was up to but smiling none the less. He wrapped his arms around his knees and looked down at Lukas who was now lying next to him looking up at the sky.

Lukas sighed, “You know my mom and I would spend hours talking about everything and looking at the clouds. We would try and find shapes and figures and such.” Philip really enjoyed the rare moments when Lukas would remember something and start talking about his mom. “I would always find the most of course,” Lukas continued with a cocky grin and Philip snorted. “I’ve never told anyone, but I still miss her. I always miss her,” he said in a more serious tone. “And it really sucks because my dad-”

“Lukas, you don’t have to-“

“No I want to,” he insisted before continuing where Philip had cut him off, “It sucks because my dad and I don’t really know how to talk. He tries to understand and be a good dad, I think, but I’m not sure he knows how, you know.” Philip kept quiet, letting him get everything of his chest. “So he just drinks and tries to apologize the next day.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Philip was taken aback by his sudden need to tell him _everything._

Lukas sat back up, “I’m thinking the reason I’ve been so quiet all those years is only because you weren’t around yet for me to tell everything to.”

“I love you.” He had said it and Lukas wasn’t sleeping or eyes closed pretending to, his blue eyes were looking right at him.

“I know. I love you, too,” he felt the words that he wanted to say for so long, come out so easily.

“I know,” his grin was wide. They had both known all along but he still wanted to hear and say those words everyday from now on.


End file.
